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31 Days of Horror – Day Seven – Hellraiser (2022)
For Day Seven we have such articles to write you; this one covers the newest horror reboot to come out of 2022, Hellraiser!
That’s right… it’s Hellraiser!
Movie Details:
- Release Date: 2022
- “Run”time: 2 hours
- Where to watch it: Streaming
- Directed by: David Bruckner
- Written by: Ben Collins and Luke Piotrowski
- Starring:
- Odessa A’zion
- Jamie Clayton
- Brandon Flynn
- Goran Višnjić
Synopsis: A recovering addict comes across a cryptic puzzle box with a prize at the end…
Open Stab Wounds (out of 10): 9
Review: I am a Hellraiser fan! There, I said it. Admittedly, I might’ve been a Hellraiser 3 fan before I was ever a full Hellraiser fan. The second sequel, Hell on Earth, was the first one I remember watching. I went back for the originals after that and really enjoy Bloodline. Some of the later sequels I couldn’t get into; not sure if it was change in actors, change in direction, or maybe I felt that Bloodline was a good enough canonized conclusion to the series.
When a new Hellraiser film was announced, I surprised myself by being excited! Bringing back our favorite Cenobites for another adventure in depraved gore and sensations finally seemed like a good idea again, especially since horror master Clive Barker was again on the hook to produce. The series, after all, is the offspring of his novella, “The Hellbound Heart”, so having him back on board with his influence was a must.
Though this is a reboot of the franchise, this film isn’t a direct adaptation of “The Hellbound Heart” (which the original Hellraiser was). Instead the writers take a story of a young woman, fighting through her addictions, and reintroduce the audience to a revamped, more fleshed-out (PUN!), version of the puzzle box, colloquially known as the Lament Configuration.
The film just came out, so I won’t dig too far into spoilers as far as plot goes. The young woman, Riley (Odessa A’zion) makes us feel the conflict of wanting to be better but wallowing in ones’ past. It’s a sense that we deserve whatever pain we get because we caused pain. It’s telling ourselves not to be selfish but refusing to move forward beyond the cringe of our younger selves. The relationship with her brother Matt (Brandon Flynn) underpins the emotional stakes of the film.
Of course, it is a Hellraiser film, so gore and pain are a must. Thankfully we have a solid core of supporting actors to act as potential victims. Trevor (Drew Starkey) as Riley’s boyfriend and Colin (Adam Faison) as Matt’s boyfriend are there for her throughout the film. We’re introduced to Trevor from the get-go and the audience stays attached to him through Riley’s attachment to him. My attachment toward Colin, on the other hand, grew into a relationship I cared about more as the movie went on. It’s a nice little thought exercise about how the people who truly care about us are the ones we’re annoyed at the most.
Last, but certainly not least: the Cenobites. How do they compare? The make-up was wonderfully creepy. Some of the newer versions were just as good as the originals. In addition, some of the newcomer Cenobites were wonderful designs. One of my favorites was one that seemed to be bound by wire, shambling slowly and methodically toward our characters. Its design doesn’t seem like it can do any damage to a human… until it does.
Then there’s The Priest (aka Pinhead, played by Jamie Clayton). We all love Doug Bradley, and Pinhead defined his career. Some of the other actors to play Pinhead, I wasn’t ever sold on. I’m thrilled to say that Jamie Clayton is a perfect successor. Her presence on screen is ominous and her delivery of lines (and chains) work for me. If this is indeed a reboot of a franchise (aka more sequels), then Jamie being on the team is a must.
I started the review with a note about me being a fan of Hellraiser. I’m happy to report that though I faltered for a decade or so there, this reboot has rekindled my interest. Now I just need to find out where I put that “The Hellbound Heart” copy.
KEVIN’S THOUGHTS: Every time I hear there is going to be a remake, I’m always a bit apprehensive. When the original creator is involved, I get a bit more excited. Clive Barker was only a producer on the new Hellraiser adaptation, but his fingerprints were all over this. I quite enjoyed this version. It had its flaws, but I thought it was an overall good movie. None of the kills were overly spectacular, but the gore, effects, music, and cinematography were all on point. Oh, what sights they have to show us.
Thanks for reading and watching along with us! Be sure to keep up with all 31 days of our Halloween Horror Film coverage!
Oh, and make sure to follow Brandon on Twitter @BarnyardCruz and Kevin @Solucid!31 Days of Horror – Day Six – Glorious (2022)
Glory, Glorious, hallelujah! It’s time for some cosmic horror as we hit day six of our 31 days of horror!
Today we’re covering…
Glorious!
Movie Details:
- Release Date: 2022
- “Run”time: 1 hour 19 minutes
- Where to watch it: Streaming
- Directed by: Rebekah McKendry
- Written by: Todd Rigney
- Starring:
- Ryan Kwanten
- J.K. Simmons
- Sylvia Grace Crim
Synopsis: Fate leads to a rest stop and a Lovecraftian gloryhole.
Open Stab Wounds (out of 10): 7
Review: The idea of fate and karma have never been concepts I could get behind. On paper, they make sense, but when I really start to analyze those ideas, the reality of our existence really makes me go “nah, no freaking way!” Today’s movie toyed with some of those concepts in a way that makes me want to agree with them. I still don’t, but if I started believing in higher powers, I’d consider it.
Glorious, directed by Rebekah McKendry, tells the story of Wes (Ryan Kwanten) and his encounter at Route 37 rest area. It is quickly established that Wes has had some recent relationship problems and seems to be trying to escape from them. Letting his emotions get the best of him, he proceeds to down a whole bottle of whiskey, burn his “memories” at the rest stop fire pit, and pass out on the ground outside the area (sans the pants he also decided to burn).
Waking up to one hell of a hangover, he rushes inside the rest stop bathroom and proceeds to puke his guts out into the filthy toilet. This is when we are introduced to Ghat (voiced by the always amazing J.K. Simmons), the voice in the last stall. Ghat lets Wes know that fate has chosen him and he will need to make some tough decisions. Wes fights the ideas, attempts to escape, but eventually starts to believe some of what Ghat has been telling him.
Without spoiling the entire film (it’s not too difficult to piece together most of it) I will say that there are themes of choice, regret, introspection, fate, and recompense. Lovecraftian creatures, madness, and ideas are also prevalent throughout the film.
I’ve always enjoyed Lovecraftian movies. I cannot think of many that have a heavy emphasis on comedic elements though; John Dies at the End, comes to mind. This movie, for what it was, did a good job of mixing the two together. I found myself laughing at more than a few scenes. The gore was wonderful, an odd color for a lot of the blood, but far more plentiful than I expected. No real problems with the sound or music. There were a few scenes that I thought were beautifully shot, but nothing I think is going to be winning any awards.
All in all, it was an alright watch. I don’t think I’ll be rewatching, but don’t regret the hour and some change I gave it.
BRANDON’S THOUGHTS: I’d heard decent things about this movie when it first came to Shudder. I was interested in the premise and hadn’t really had a chance to check it out (until now). The first 10 minutes or so, I was anything but impressed (seemed very film school-esque), but as the film went on, I appreciated some of the things they did more. In the end, I thought it was a decent film with a cool, unique premise.
Open Stab Wounds (out of 10): 6
Thanks for reading and watching along with us! Be sure to keep up with all 31 days of our Halloween Horror Film coverage!
Oh, and make sure to follow Brandon on Twitter @BarnyardCruz and Kevin @Solucid!
31 Days of Horror – Day Five – The Crazies (2010)
I know what you’re thinking: you just talked about The Crazies… and you’re not wrong… but now we’re talking about the remake!
Today we’re covering…
The Crazies!
Movie Details:
- Release Date: 2010
- “Run”time: 1 hour 41 minutes
- Where to watch it: Streaming
- Directed by: Breck Eisner
- Written by: Scott Kosar, Ray Wright, and George A. Romero
- Starring:
- Timothy Olyphant
- Radha Mitchell
- Joe Anderson
Synopsis: The small farming community of Ogden Marsh has a run-in with their own Crazies inducing pandemic…
Open Stab Wounds (out of 10): 9
Review: Kevin had the pleasure yesterday of writing about the original The Crazies (1973). Today I get the pleasure of writing about the superior film of the two. Yes, I’m kind of playing my bias here early. The writers (Scott Kosar and Ray Wright) took George A. Romero’s wonderful idea of a crazy “Trixie” virus infecting an entire town, made it less a fever dream (no sickness pun intended) and more of an intelligible story. My preference boils down to how much more coherent and cohesive this film is compared to the original. Even the opening scene does a good job of introducing an idyllic town and its friendly cast of characters before it devolves into horror.
Ok, bias acknowledged, let’s talk about the film!
Kevin told you what the original Crazies was about already, so that helps me streamline this a bit. One of the major upgrades in this remake is the addition of Radha Mitchell and particularly Timothy Olyphant. He is an actor that elevates everything he’s in and for The Crazies, his character forms as the anchor point throughout the chaos. Some of his simple reactions bring such a high level of verisimilitude to the character. One such example is when he’s trying to start a car, and everyone is yelling at him to hurry up. He turns around, lifts his ignition turning hand, says, “I…” then turns to keep trying. That single moment of pure exasperation is massively effective. Not only does it show his resolve to take care of his wife, but it’s a great juxtaposition against the infected others, whose minimal stress turn them into murderers.
Speaking of murderers, the titular Crazies do plenty of effective gore and cringe-inducing moments over the course of the film’s runtime. Their unhinged and vacant stares are very creepy. Plus, the senselessness of their violence is scary too.
But let’s talk about the real villain: The U.S. government! It’s back in this remake and they suck. They’re effective, mostly faceless, villains that cause all the events in the film. Sure, the Crazies, are the ones stabbing people with pitchforks and burning their families alive… but nuking an entire town is a bit much. There can be a parallel to COVID when talking about this movie, but I hesitate to relate them too closely; people still think that COVID is a government conspiracy. If we relate them too readily, we risk viewing this movie as justification for saying, “yeah, see! The government will always kill us! COVID VACCINES ARE KILLING US”.
The Crazies is up there in my top 5 remakes of all time, I think. It’s in an exclusive club with Dawn of the Dead (2004) and The Thing (1982). It does what remakes and song covers should do: take the source material, distill its themes, and create something that is recognizable but new. The Crazies (2010) may not be the All Along the Watchtowers of remakes, but it’s several steps above Weezer’s cover of Africa.
Kevin Says: He agrees with me for the most part. He didn’t tell me he disagreed, so everything I said he probably says too
Open Stab Wounds (out of 10): 7.5
Thanks for reading and watching along with us! Be sure to keep up with all 31 days of our Halloween Horror Film coverage!
Oh, and make sure to follow Brandon on Twitter @BarnyardCruz and Kevin @Solucid!31 Days of Horror – Day Four – The Crazies (1973)
Call us the Crazies, because we’re onto day four of our 31 Days of Halloween Horror!
Today we’re covering…
The Crazies!
Movie Details:
- Release Date: 1973
- “Run”time: 1 hour and 43 minutes
- Where to watch it: Streaming
- Directed by: George A. Romero
- Written by: George A. Romero
- Starring:
- Stars
- Lane Carroll
- Will MacMillan
- Harold Wayne Jones
Synopsis: A virus breaks out in a small town and the residents and government scramble to figure out what to do.
Open Stab Wounds (out of 10): 6
Review: Horror with the theme of a virus spreading has always had an added layer of fear, since the idea is somewhat plausible. If the last three years have shown us anything, it is that if/when a zombie/rage/crazies virus does break out, we’re doomed for sure.
The fourth feature film of writer/director George A. Romero introduces us to the small town of Evans City, Pennsylvania. Opening on a small farm house where a couple of young siblings are up past their bedtime playing in the house. During their play, the father is suddenly seen smashing items in the home and spreading kerosene through the house. Running to their mother for help, they find her murdered in bed and then their father finds them and proceeds to set the house ablaze. This is our initial introduction to the Trixie virus.
We are quickly introduced to the main protagonist of the film, David (Will MacMillan) who is in bed with his pregnant fiancé Judy (Lane Carroll). David is part of the volunteer firefighting squad and is called to respond to the fire set in the introduction. Judy, the local nurse, is also called in to work to attend to the two children rescued from the same fire. Things quickly take a turn though, as the military show up at the doctor’s office and establish that they are putting the whole town under quarantine.
It turns out that six days earlier, a plane had crashed in the mountains overlooking the town. Onboard was a “vaccine” that had spread into the reservoir used by the town which had now spread to most of the residents. Those affected by the contaminated water started to show either severe flu-like symptoms or would seem to lose their mind, going between violence and euphoria, sometimes both at the same time.
The incompetence of the military and government response seem to be a running theme throughout and it quickly devolves into an “us vs them” mentality in the town. On the government side, it almost immediately turns to an “acceptable losses” scenario. With multiple plots being set up, the film sort of just ends with no real conclusion.
I do like much of Romero’s work, but I cannot say this is one of my favorites. The gore is minimal with more of an emphasis on the fear of not knowing what to do (on the civilian, government, and military sides). In true grindhouse fashion, the editing and sound is not very good and the acting is on the same level. The story jumps from point to point with no real transition, which gives a very big sense of forced exposition. Overall, I think the film had some great ideas, but just did not deliver.
Brandon’s Thoughts:
I saw the remake before I ever saw the original. The context of when the film was released originally vs. the remake might be something I discuss in my post tomorrow. All in all, I agree with the Grindhouse/indie aspect of Romero’s work. I like the concept, though it seems a middle of the road kind of movie for me.
Open Stab Wounds (out of 10): 6
Thanks for reading and watching along with us! Be sure to keep up with all 31 days of our Halloween Horror Film coverage!
Oh, and make sure to follow Brandon on Twitter @BarnyardCruz and Kevin @Solucid!